THE BEST SEAT IS BY THE WINDOW

Our warmest conversations happen at the dinner table, and the best seat is always by the window. This past year we've often opted to sit at the table rather than the couch in the evenings while we talk and work, so a struggle with this apartment has been the cramped and windowless dining nook. But it's the gentle push of necessity that often causes me to not only be resourceful, but to discover and develop my favorite ideas.

In a 24 hour swoop we decided to sell our couch with the intention of replacing it with a more durable, leather one. We began the hunt for a replacement, and moved our *dining table into the living room, creating a play space for Henry in the old nook. The intention was to keep our living room from looking bare, but the first evening we found ourselves across from each other at the table for hours, drinking tea and conversing by opened windows over the low light of pillar candles.

I know from experience that when we move next month the spaces in our home will pivot many times before the dust settles. But I'm reluctant to give up this fresh arrangement, so here's hoping I can find the table an open spot by a window in Carrboro. I can imagine the laughter of dinner parties and low tones of intimate conversation that will sift through our window screens on summer evenings, drifting down to passersby.


*We built our oak parson's table in a friend's workshop last summer, and it's scheduled to receive a new coat of danish oil upon our move. The chairs are solid walnut, purchased from the local flea market and originally built in the 60's by a North Carolinian carpenter. We started sanding them down to the natural wood, but it was slow going so we opted to paint the chairs an off-black color.

WE SOLD OUR TV LAST NIGHT

So, we sold our TV last night.

To be honest, it sort of just happened. The only display surface in our living room is a tiny white dresser, and with mostly empty wall space, the black TV above it was dominating the living area. It was also becoming too much of a temptation to leave the TV on for the hours I played on the floor with Henry. I wasn't comfortable with him staring all day at the flashing colors and array of sounds.

First we hid the TV in the bedroom closet and pulled it out for movie watching (I know, we are crazy). But of course that was a hassle, so eventually we forgot the TV even existed and began occasionally watching shows on our laptops. So yesterday we finally just sold it on Craigslist. 

I feel the need to say that I'm not advocating for everyone to get rid of their TVs, and I don’t think Joseph and I are something special for not having a TV in our home. Someday you better bet we will have a massive TV and routinely have family movies nights and host big game watching nights with friends.

For those of you who have been following my other posts on living simply and more minimally, do you see what happens? You start by getting rid of one thing. Then another. Then another. And at some point your perspective on things begins to change, and you do something crazy like sell your TV.

Start looking around your home and decide what's getting in the way of you living your life in an intentional and meaningful way. As your stuff begins to disappear, you’ll be surprised that the way you begin to view what's left changes, and so does your perspective on what you think you need.

somewhat related things:
affects of television on brain development
do you let you kids watch tv?
here's proof I'm not a total television hater
what shows do you binge watch?

photo credit: some day I want our TV wall to look like this.

THE SIMPLEST WAY TO KILL YOUR PLANTS

Regardless of whether I have a black thumb or green thumb, I have busy thumbs. They're usually drumming on my lap top, scrubbing at messes, or tossing baby toes into the air. So, I've only purchased plants that require the littlest amount of time and effort. Occasionally even one of these "effortless" sprouts begins to wither, and I'm left bewildered at how swiftly I've managed to kill the world's easiest house plant.

Desperate to save a dying fern, I did my research and found that the simplest way to kill your plants is to over water them. The expert's advice: water as needed instead of on schedule, and only mist plants that enjoy humid conditions every few days. Wilting leaves or soil pulling away from the planter's sides signifies thirst, but dark soil that sticks to fingers means their roots are well saturated.

Now that I've stopped drowning her roots (also misting her and letting her hang in the humid bathroom during showers), my Maidenhair Fern has begun to thrive. And did you know - if you group your plants together during the approaching winter months, you can create a humid micro-climate and give them a greater chance of survival? I certainly did not.

If you have any tips for keeping "easy" house plants alive, please let me know! Even a succulent can be tricky for a novice.

UPDATE: Some of you have asked me where I purchased my ferns. I bought both my Maidenhair and Button ferns from Pernell Gerver. I was wary of purchasing plants online, but the ferns were well packaged an in excellent condition when they arrived at my doorstep. So if you're interested in cultivating an indoor garden but can't find the plants you're looking for locally, take a look at what they have for sale.


somewhat related things:
best low maintenance indoor plants
a modern watering can (if only)
i'd love one of these in my living room!

LEARNING TO PART WITH THINGS YOU LOVE

We sacrificed square footage for location when we moved to our current apartment. Spending more time walking through a charming neighborhood and visiting local shops and parks by foot was more important to us than having extra floor space. But when you downsize your home, you also have to downsize your furniture. Though I love scouting for deals and restyling rooms, there are some pieces that have begun to mean something. Getting rid of those is tricky for the heart.

When Henry was first born, I spent half of those first days and sleepless nights sitting with him in our cushiony glider. It was second hand and certainly not a beauty, so initially I'd eyed my impulse purchase with regret. But its comfort and sweetness of the memories it had absorbed during the first months of Henry's life endeared it to me. So it was a sad afternoon when I realized it wouldn't fit in the new nursery.

We found the glider a good home, and brought in a small, wooden rocking chair from my parents attic - the same chair they used to rock me and my sisters to sleep. The new-to-us chair has charm, fits perfectly in the little window nook, and over the past six months has begun to seat it's own set of happy memories.

Living minimally is sometimes hard. It's easy to part with things broken beyond repair or never used, but learning to part with some of the things you love is difficult. Even so, learning to give up those things that stand in the way of new experiences and memories is always going to be worth more.

MAKE ROOM FOR CHAOS

Creative people are some of the messiest people. I was reading this article earlier today, which pointed out a mess is not necessarily a bad thing - a messy desk is a sign of a messy mind, and an empty desk can be a sign of an empty mind.

While I find this to be true, I'm the sort of creative person who in order to be productive needs the only mess around me to be that of my current projects. This is why I tend towards the extreme of owning and using as little as possible. When I'm on a creative kick, less household clutter means there's more room to spread out my scribbled notes, opened books and jars of paint-clouded water.

Do yourself a favor and make room for a little chaos, if that's what it takes to stoke imagination and compel a discovery or masterpiece.


more on being creative:
The Gap by Ira Glass
18 things creative people do differently (also on Avelist)
an old favorite: how schools kill creativity

ON KEEPING BOOKS

I have a Kindle, and I enjoy the convenience of instantly purchasing a novel and being able to easily toss an entire library into my bag. Even so, there are still small piles of books stacked in favorite reading corners, and the bookcase Joseph made for my birthday four years ago still brims with novels, read to the point that their spines split to reveal discolored pages.

Routinely I browse through the shelves to eliminate impostors - a poorly written science fiction novel or a lifestyle book with terrible advice. Most I donate, but I'm not above tossing out a book so terrible that nobody should ever read it. If our library is going to overflow, it will only be with books we love and plan to read again... and again.

I've accepted that our library will never be truly minimal, and one day I hope we can devote an entire room to housing books. There is intellectual and imaginative gain when fingers engage to turn a page, and asking an avid reader to part with a well worn paperback is like asking them to give up an old friend.

A BASKET IN EVERY ROOM

Once we put Henry to bed, the first thing I do is pick up the toys off the living room rug and toss them into a basket. In a minute, the room is tidy, and a chaotic afternoon transitions to a quiet evening. While I'm not one to advocate hoarding storage containers for superfluous items, there are some daily necessities that require containment. A basket bestows warmth to a room while maintaining a practical purpose.

We have baskets in every room - some tucked into discrete corners to contain items that would otherwise be strewn across floors, becoming encumbrances to startled feet. Others are displayed haphazardly on shelves, while secretly containing sentimental notes or our stashed electronics.

Keep a large basket in your living room for blankets and pillows, or in your bedroom to crisply tuck away dirty laundry. Use another to keep piles of books within reach of a favorite reading spot. Hide mismatched toiletries in a basket where they remain easily accessible. What would elsewhere be labeled "a mess" appears quaint and endearing in a clever basket.

KEEP DRAWERS SPARSE

In a home with limited storage space, drawers quickly begin to brim with things long forgotten. When we moved into our apartment, we were able to squeeze almost everything into dressers and cabinets, but the drawers had become so stuffed that too much time was spent rummaging and rearranging. When I finally came to terms with this and began clearing them out, I found rolls of tape we'd accidentally kept purchasing, matchless socks, expired makeup, and odd kitchen utensils that we'd held onto "just in case" but had never used.

Designate a purpose for each drawer, and place each item in them with intention, making it a point to remember exactly what they hold. Sparse drawers make it simpler to complete a project, cook a meal, or decide what to wear.

And consider this: saving things "in case you need them" becomes irrelevant when the heaps are so high that you not longer remember what's buried within them.


pictured:
"Happy Birthday" garland
spool of leather lace

ON LIVING SMALLER

When Joseph and I first were married, we moved right into a little dream house. The rooms were not particularly large, but there were three bedrooms with three moderately sized closets. Each closet was stuffed to the point of overflowing, and the two extra rooms were completely furnished. We had the ideal space to meet our needs and fit our things.

When I was pregnant our priorities changed, and we moved from there to a one bedroom garage apartment to save more money. Storage was limited, and we had to sell furniture and donate 50% of our things just to make the space livable, and to make room for a baby.

And guess what? I can't even recall most of the things we gave up.

We learned our lesson, and when searching for our current apartment we opted for less square footage than we thought we would need. This forced us once again to downsize our clothing to fit an even smaller closet, and our kitchen items to fit a kitchen half the size of the last, and we sold almost all our furniture, swapping only some of it for small scale items that we loved. Once again, we got rid of about half of the things we owned.

I don't miss those things either.

Waste not, want not - it's true. But that also applies to wasted space. Don't spend money buying or renting real estate for your unnecessary and unloved things. Instead make money off those items, or give them away so that someone who needs them can love them. A smaller space will prevent you from buying new things as well. Your wallets will be fatter, your home will be neater, and you won't look back.

more on downsizing:
surprising benefits of smaller living
could you live in 100 sq ft?
10 of the smallest homes in the world

photo found here.

APPRECIATE THE EMPTY WALL

We've kept the walls in our apartment sparse. In our bedroom we have a beautiful little painting of a ship, gifted to us by my parents last Christmas. The other walls are blank because I can't bring myself to hang anything cheap in the presence of such a quality painting. But in my opinion, the windows and the little ship are enough to make the room feel cozy and complete.

I've struggled the most to decorate the wakeful areas. I've considered a gallery wall, but right now even cheap artwork isn't in the budget. So we've left a few walls completely empty. I've contemplated adding a few hooks to hang a blanket and bag or two behind my grandma's cane chair... But for now, that wall stays empty too.

While in the future we'll welcome fine paintings and Henry's scribbled masterpieces, right now "less" is the economical decision. I've had to come to terms with this, and I'm beginning to appreciate the quiet walls which give me space to think.

BURN A CANDLE

A mother by day and a writer by night, I sometimes find it hard to switch my brain to creative thing at the end of a long day of wresting with teething, grocery lists, and dirty dishes.

Recently I have begun a new evening ritual.

Once Henry quiets down in his crib and I have tidied up the living space, I light a candle.

The flame's bright shudder and the glow of melted wax relaxes and eases my mind into a creative dimension. This simple routine has become a sort of addiction for me. If you struggle to loosen your mind at the end of a day, or just need to detox from a long day at work, try clearing your work space, and burn a candle.

(Stay tuned for a simple candle making project).

DECORATE WITH WHITE AND WOOD

If you're like us, you're furniture shopping has been limited to what's cheap on craigslist or available in your parent's garage. One of the great challenges of decorating on a low budget is dealing with mismatched furniture. I've found that the best way to create a sense of cohesiveness is to create a simple color foundation.

When we moved into our apartment, our landlord graciously painted over the beige walls with white. We opted for neutral rugs, and kept most accents and accessories white - with the exception of the occasional fresh bouquet.

If you have one piece in particular that especially struggles to join the crowd, move it a little to the side and give it it's own simple backdrop. You will find that even the most disparate will find their place within the room.


photo found here

CLEAN YOUR BEDROOM

I have spent many nights over the years tossing in bed until those painful hours when the sun wakes and peeks above the window sills. As a light sleeper, I have learned to make changes in my evening routine that help me grasp a sound night's sleep.  One of the simplest changes being tidying up the bedroom.

The realization that I could not sleep soundly in a messy room occurred after Joseph and I were married. Dirty clothes littered the floor, we still hadn't sorted through Joseph's junk things, and we'd stumble over piles of un-used decorative items, and the wedding gifts that we hadn't yet taken the time to organize. I couldn't sleep, because even after the lights were out, all I could see was the list of unfinished tasks strewn about the room.
We've worked hard to remove clutter from the bedroom, and have begun tidying it up each night before shoveling covers over our heads. And sleep truly eludes me less often in a clean and peaceful room.

(Joseph, on the other hand, could fall asleep on a bed of bricks.)


more on sleep:
the myth of the eight hour sleep
TV before bed?
secrets for a better night sleep
my current dream bed