WE SOLD OUR TV LAST NIGHT

So, we sold our TV last night.

To be honest, it sort of just happened. The only display surface in our living room is a tiny white dresser, and with mostly empty wall space, the black TV above it was dominating the living area. It was also becoming too much of a temptation to leave the TV on for the hours I played on the floor with Henry. I wasn't comfortable with him staring all day at the flashing colors and array of sounds.

First we hid the TV in the bedroom closet and pulled it out for movie watching (I know, we are crazy). But of course that was a hassle, so eventually we forgot the TV even existed and began occasionally watching shows on our laptops. So yesterday we finally just sold it on Craigslist. 

I feel the need to say that I'm not advocating for everyone to get rid of their TVs, and I don’t think Joseph and I are something special for not having a TV in our home. Someday you better bet we will have a massive TV and routinely have family movies nights and host big game watching nights with friends.

For those of you who have been following my other posts on living simply and more minimally, do you see what happens? You start by getting rid of one thing. Then another. Then another. And at some point your perspective on things begins to change, and you do something crazy like sell your TV.

Start looking around your home and decide what's getting in the way of you living your life in an intentional and meaningful way. As your stuff begins to disappear, you’ll be surprised that the way you begin to view what's left changes, and so does your perspective on what you think you need.

somewhat related things:
affects of television on brain development
do you let you kids watch tv?
here's proof I'm not a total television hater
what shows do you binge watch?

photo credit: some day I want our TV wall to look like this.

THE SIMPLEST WAY TO KILL YOUR PLANTS

Regardless of whether I have a black thumb or green thumb, I have busy thumbs. They're usually drumming on my lap top, scrubbing at messes, or tossing baby toes into the air. So, I've only purchased plants that require the littlest amount of time and effort. Occasionally even one of these "effortless" sprouts begins to wither, and I'm left bewildered at how swiftly I've managed to kill the world's easiest house plant.

Desperate to save a dying fern, I did my research and found that the simplest way to kill your plants is to over water them. The expert's advice: water as needed instead of on schedule, and only mist plants that enjoy humid conditions every few days. Wilting leaves or soil pulling away from the planter's sides signifies thirst, but dark soil that sticks to fingers means their roots are well saturated.

Now that I've stopped drowning her roots (also misting her and letting her hang in the humid bathroom during showers), my Maidenhair Fern has begun to thrive. And did you know - if you group your plants together during the approaching winter months, you can create a humid micro-climate and give them a greater chance of survival? I certainly did not.

If you have any tips for keeping "easy" house plants alive, please let me know! Even a succulent can be tricky for a novice.

UPDATE: Some of you have asked me where I purchased my ferns. I bought both my Maidenhair and Button ferns from Pernell Gerver. I was wary of purchasing plants online, but the ferns were well packaged an in excellent condition when they arrived at my doorstep. So if you're interested in cultivating an indoor garden but can't find the plants you're looking for locally, take a look at what they have for sale.


somewhat related things:
best low maintenance indoor plants
a modern watering can (if only)
i'd love one of these in my living room!

LEARNING TO PART WITH THINGS YOU LOVE

We sacrificed square footage for location when we moved to our current apartment. Spending more time walking through a charming neighborhood and visiting local shops and parks by foot was more important to us than having extra floor space. But when you downsize your home, you also have to downsize your furniture. Though I love scouting for deals and restyling rooms, there are some pieces that have begun to mean something. Getting rid of those is tricky for the heart.

When Henry was first born, I spent half of those first days and sleepless nights sitting with him in our cushiony glider. It was second hand and certainly not a beauty, so initially I'd eyed my impulse purchase with regret. But its comfort and sweetness of the memories it had absorbed during the first months of Henry's life endeared it to me. So it was a sad afternoon when I realized it wouldn't fit in the new nursery.

We found the glider a good home, and brought in a small, wooden rocking chair from my parents attic - the same chair they used to rock me and my sisters to sleep. The new-to-us chair has charm, fits perfectly in the little window nook, and over the past six months has begun to seat it's own set of happy memories.

Living minimally is sometimes hard. It's easy to part with things broken beyond repair or never used, but learning to part with some of the things you love is difficult. Even so, learning to give up those things that stand in the way of new experiences and memories is always going to be worth more.

MAKE ROOM FOR CHAOS

Creative people are some of the messiest people. I was reading this article earlier today, which pointed out a mess is not necessarily a bad thing - a messy desk is a sign of a messy mind, and an empty desk can be a sign of an empty mind.

While I find this to be true, I'm the sort of creative person who in order to be productive needs the only mess around me to be that of my current projects. This is why I tend towards the extreme of owning and using as little as possible. When I'm on a creative kick, less household clutter means there's more room to spread out my scribbled notes, opened books and jars of paint-clouded water.

Do yourself a favor and make room for a little chaos, if that's what it takes to stoke imagination and compel a discovery or masterpiece.


more on being creative:
The Gap by Ira Glass
18 things creative people do differently (also on Avelist)
an old favorite: how schools kill creativity

A RELIABLE WORK SPOT (AND A PLAN B)

While I like to think that I'm a spontaneous person, I'm an incredibly picky worker. I cannot focus at a rickety table, when surrounding conversation reaches a certain decibel, or while sitting on a swirly bar stool. (When your height is on the lower side of average, bar stools can be cruel). My favorite spot is at our dining table, looking out towards the living room windows.

But every number of days, thanks to a certain benevolent grandmother, I'm able to leave the house for a handful of hours. On these days, I frequent a local cafe that usually has my favorite booth free in the back corner. The coffee is quality, the atmosphere inspires, and on week days there are only a few other focused workers with fingers puttering away at keyboards. Conversations are muffled and the music is soft, so I can focus well and be productive.

The other day my usual haunt failed to provide me a spot within close proximity to an outlet (in its later years, my lap top has been hanging on for dear life). An hour later and four cafes down, I tossed my things onto a Starbucks' table, and then I saw this:

So next time the neighborhood cafe fails me, I'll skip the search and settle immediately into a desk at a certain library. It's not my preferred atmosphere to work in, but it's fool proof. And when you have strict time constraints, fool proof takes precedent over journeys across town in search of lattes and inspiration.


Check out the qualities I look for in a reliable work spot here. 

ON GIVING STUFF AWAY

We made back a sizable sum by consigning and selling furniture and household items, but not everything sold immediately. The off season clothing we intended to consign when it was back in season began to pile up in our closet space. Bulky furniture squatted in our apartment while we waited for responses to our craigslist ads. Items that we loved but didn't need we wanted to give away to friends since it was easier to part with them that way.

Here's the deal:

Getting cash for your things is always going to be the best outcome. Making 50% back by consigning that expensive dress is going to make you feel less guilty for buying it. But while a minimal lifestyle happens to be more economical, the goal is for things to no longer be central to your life.

A bit of advice: when you hit a point where the piles have grown and aren't going anywhere fast, curb alert that pottery barn coffee table on craigslist and haul a few loads of designer clothing to goodwill. Rest easy knowing that somebody, somewhere will think they've hit a goldmine.

A BIT OF EARTH

One of my favorite moments in A Secret Garden is when the frightened orphan, Mary, is called into the study of the old English manor to meet her solemn guardian, Mr. Craven. After discussing her desire to play outdoors and grow stronger, he asks her what she wants - toys, books, dolls? And Mary replies, "Might I have a bit of earth?" Mr. Craven finds this strange, and asks what she means, to which Mary says, "To plant seeds in--to make things grow--to see them come alive."

We don't own any land, but our apartment is settled on the fringe of a charming neighborhood, and there are many trails to wander down and parks in which to enjoy a shaded bench. There is a particular spot where I go to put away my phone and take off my ear buds so that I can listen to natural creaks and chimes, and watch tree tufts speckle the grass with light and shadows as wind rolls through like a steady current. It's a place where I can go when life is not simple, and my imagination needs nature and sunlight to settle and grow.

Find a bit of earth where you can steal away to think. Think of the happiest times, the people you still love, and receive each breath with intention. Your spirit will calm, your mind will wake and dream, and those dreams will begin to plant themselves deep. Return as often as you can, so that you can watch them grow and come alive.

ONE TOY AT A TIME

There have been mornings, desperate to finish a cup of coffee, that I've sat Henry's bottom on a pile of squeaky teethers and singing critters. But as a general rule, I usually try to give him a single object to play with, and often a single book or ball will keep him busier for longer than a pile of toys competing for his attention.

This isn't a post about how to parent, but parenting does lead to a good look in the mirror. Less screen time because too much isn't good for him? I'm currently recovering from an addiction to a certain Netflix show. One toy at a time? Last night I caught myself watching a movie, reading through blogs, texting and eating dinner, all while trying to have a conversation with Joseph.

Divided attention isn't really attention.

Advances in technology are incredible and useful, but keep your use of them simple, intentional, and less frequent. The act of focus will improve the quality of your work and relationships.

WHY DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER

Last weekend we celebrated the engagement between my brother-in-law, Jacob, and his fiance, Alex. As I stared at her gorgeous halo-encircled princess cut diamond, I started to consider how in the Western World diamonds became the expected engagement stone.

I did some research, and here are a few of the facts:

• Engagement rings are thought to have originated in Egypt and picked up by the ancient Greeks, but the history of engagement rings can be tracked as far back as ancient Rome. Then, it was believed that the "ring finger" contained a vein that led to the heart. 
• The first diamond engagement ring was given by the Archduke Maximilian of Austria to his betrothed, Mary Burgundy, in imperial court of Vienna in 1477. This popularized diamond engagement rings among those of higher social class or significant wealth.
• Diamonds were discovered in South Africa in 1866. By 1872 the output of diamonds minds exceeded one million carats per year, and they became affordable to those of lesser means. In 1886, Tiffany & Co introduced the solitaire Tiffany setting.
• After World War I the popularity of diamond rings began to decline, and the price of diamonds collapsed during the Great Depression. Diamond cartel, De Beers, began a marketing campaign to persuade consumers that engagement rings were indispensable, and that only diamond engagement rings were acceptable. He introduced the slogan "A Diamond is Forever". 

And there you have it. A flawed scientific theory, one 15th century Archduke, and a successful marketing campaign are likely the reason why I'm sporting a solitaire today, and the reason why the U.S. currently makes up the world's largest diamond market, consuming 40% of gem quality diamonds.


more on diamonds:
why diamonds sparkle.
the rarest of them all.
most expensive diamonds in the world.
gemstones more precious than diamonds.

BURN A CANDLE

A mother by day and a writer by night, I sometimes find it hard to switch my brain to creative thing at the end of a long day of wresting with teething, grocery lists, and dirty dishes.

Recently I have begun a new evening ritual.

Once Henry quiets down in his crib and I have tidied up the living space, I light a candle.

The flame's bright shudder and the glow of melted wax relaxes and eases my mind into a creative dimension. This simple routine has become a sort of addiction for me. If you struggle to loosen your mind at the end of a day, or just need to detox from a long day at work, try clearing your work space, and burn a candle.

(Stay tuned for a simple candle making project).

CHOOSE YOUR WORDS

I've often wished that conversation was something that could be revised over and over again.

I read once that Abraham Lincoln did not speak often at social gatherings, but when he did speak, everyone listened.

And for those of us who aren't as witty or wise as Abe Lincoln...

Proverbs 17:28 says "Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise..."


photo found here.